The Biggest Mistake Men Make (According to a Pro)
Johnny Sins, one of the world’s most famous male adult stars, knows a thing or two about what works—and what doesn’t—in the bedroom. His biggest observation? Too many men are selfish lovers. Instead of focusing on their partner’s pleasure, they’re just trying to “get themselves off.” And let’s be honest, that’s a surefire way to leave your partner feeling unsatisfied.
Sins argues that great sex isn’t about racing to the finish line—it’s about being a pleaser. That means paying attention to what your partner enjoys, helping them reach orgasm (maybe even more than once), and then thinking about your own satisfaction. When both people are fully engaged, the experience becomes way more intense, fun, and fulfilling.
Why Foreplay Isn’t Optional
One of the biggest complaints from women? Men skip foreplay like it’s an annoying commercial break before the main event. But here’s the truth: for most women, foreplay is the main event. Rushing into intercourse without enough buildup can leave her feeling like an afterthought.
MUS READ: The Shallowing Sex Trend: A Mindful Approach to Pleasure
So, what should you be doing?
- Take your time. Kissing, touching, and teasing aren’t just warm-ups—they’re essential.
- Focus on the clitoris. Most women need direct stimulation here to orgasm, so don’t ignore it.
- Read her cues. If she says, “Don’t stop,” she doesn’t mean “Go faster.” She means “Keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”
Common Foreplay Mistakes vs. Fixes
| Mistake | Fix |
| Rushing through foreplay | Spend at least 15-20 minutes on kissing, touching, and oral. |
| Ignoring the clitoris | Learn how she likes to be touched—ask or pay attention to her reactions. |
| Assuming she’s ready too soon | Check in—just because you’re ready doesn’t mean she is. |
The Power of Communication (No, Really)
Here’s an uncomfortable truth: a lot of men guess what their partner likes instead of asking. And surprise—that usually leads to awkward, unsatisfying sex.
Good communication doesn’t have to be a mood-killer. A simple “Do you like this?” or “What feels best for you?” can make all the difference. Even better? Normalize talking about sex outside the bedroom. That way, there’s no pressure in the moment.
Another tip? Pause sometimes. Sex doesn’t have to be non-stop action. Slowing down, holding each other, and just being in the moment can actually make things hotter.
Mental Stimulation Matters Just as Much
Women’s arousal isn’t just physical—it’s mental. That means:
- Dirty talk works. But keep it natural—forced lines sound cheesy.
- Eye contact intensifies everything. It builds connection and makes sex more intimate.
- Setting the mood helps. Dim lighting, music, or even just putting your phone away can make a huge difference.
Final Takeaway: Be a Giver, Not Just a Taker
At the end of the day, the best sex happens when both people are fully satisfied. If you shift your focus from “How do I get off?” to “How can I make this amazing for her?” you’ll notice a massive difference.
So next time you’re in the bedroom, remember: slow down, communicate, and prioritize her pleasure. Because when she’s having a great time, you will too.
Quick Recap: How to Be a Better Lover
✅ Foreplay is key—don’t rush it.
✅ Communication is sexy—ask what she likes.
✅ Mind the clitoris—it’s usually the main event.
✅ Mental arousal matters—set the mood.
✅ Be a pleaser—her satisfaction enhances yours.
Now go forth and… well, you know what to do. 😉